The loss of hope was all over my friend’s face and in her eyes as she talked about the estrangement with her daughter and grandchildren. As parents of a troubled young woman, they had initiated the tough-love break in relationship and suffered greatly the lost of hope. Guilt and shame as a ‘bad mother’ who had to separate herself from a family member was crushing her. As I thought about our brief conversation, this scripture in Romans 5 came to mind.
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5: 1-5 (Emphasis mine)
Our Corgi Jade has been through three owners, one small litter with 2 deformed pups, lyme disease and transition from a large doggy tribe of her kind to a solitary life with two humans. Doggy tribulation. But still she hopes. She hopes in blind faith because of the promises of her master - me. The promise to care for her to the best of my ability is only on my end; similar to God’s covenant relationship with his people, Israel. His covenant is held in place by His character and His promises flow out of that character. As Jade and I enjoy the dance of daily devotion, play, correction, love, and (don’t forget) treats, she comes to trust the promise of good care that flows out of my character. When I fail my doggy, she still hopes.
Unlike my dog, my friend’s loss of hope in a future she expected but didn’t experience is a cruel loss. We hope for a successful and good future for our children and grandchildren. Sometimes our hope is wrongly based on unrealistic expectations of a ‘happily-ever-after” life. Sometimes we can attempt to recreate our close family experience or create one very different from the dysfunctional family we grew up in. When reality doesn’t live up to expectations, suffering happens and we lose hope.
There are many responses to failed expectations. Some I have experienced are: suffering in silence without reaching out to God while bitterness grows over time. Another response is trying harder in my own power to make my expectations come true by exerting control over my family to do things my way. That is the ultimate exercise in futility and unfortunately my favorite! **face palm**. Many times hope is lost because we refuse the molding of godly character by the Potter. The loss of hope during times of suffering can be more devastating than the suffering itself. When you follow God’s path from suffering to hope by way of building endurance and character, hope never shames or disappoints.
SUFFERING to ENDURANCE to CHARACTER to HOPE
The hard truth? When you belong to Jesus, He is concerned with building your endurance and character through the hurtful circumstance as much as He is concerned with the answer to your prayers or changing the circumstances to make your life easier. Will you trust Him to develop hope using His path? He will not shame or disappoint you in your suffering.
