One Of These Things Is Not Like the Other

One of these things is not like the others
One of these things just doesn't belong
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which thing was not like the others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn't belong?
If you guessed this one is not like the others
Then you're absolutely...right!

Songwriters: Joe Raposo / Jon Stone. One of These Things lyrics © EMI Music Publishing

My youngest loved Sesame Street growing up.  His older siblings would head off to school.  He had the TV all to himself. One of his favorite Sesame Street segments was 'One of These Things Is Not Like the Others'.  Big Bird had 4 bowls of bird seed.  One of them was different because it was larger.  Four balloons were on the screen but only one was blue and the others were red. Here is a grown-up version of this game.

Self-indulgence          Self-denial        Self-pity           Self-protection        

One the surface all of these look the same because they involve self, different ways we act out our identity.  But take a closer look, boys and girls - One of these things is not like the others!  Did you guess self-denial?  Then you are absolutely...right!

Self-pity is harmful to our self not to mention annoying to others when we play the poor-me card in our circumstances.  Self-indulgence is taught in materialistic America as a good goal in life.  "He who has the most toys, wins."  Self-protection lives in a gray area. This one is tricky.  If someone is hurting me, shouldn't I protect myself?  Protecting myself at all costs is a huge relationship buster.  I enter into adversarial thinking because someone loses and someone wins.  What do I care most about; being right or valuing the worth of another?

But self-denial? Why in the name of all things beautiful, comfortable, yummy and fun should I deny myself the pleasures of this world?  Because Jesus said!

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

Prior to Jesus telling his disciples this upside-down truth, he dealt with speak-before-I-think Simon Peter.  Peter was rebuking Jesus for telling His disciples he must go to Jerusalem, suffer many things, be killed and raised on the third day. Sounds very altruistic - right?  I had to look altruistic up and it is defined as: unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others (opposed to egoistic). 
Jesus replied to Peter, "For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on things of man." verse 23b. 

To Peter's way of thinking, he was doing the Lord a great service by strongly warning him EVEN THOUGH Jesus had just got done telling them what was going to happen; for His glory and our ultimate good.  But Peter couldn't see ahead that Jesus's horrible road of suffering would turn out for God's glory and our benefit. Peter was acting in unbelief and fear, not faith. Peter was doing what I do in many of my relationships; I try to fix and protect the other party from the consequences of their decisions without regarding God's plan.  Denying myself the right to fix a situation or correct a wrong leaves room for God to work in another's life via His perfect will.  I don't want to circumvent God's perfect work in someone's life to make myself feel better about my ability to help them.  This crosses the line from helping to enabling.  Yes, I end up feeling better about my ability to help but in some relationships, it prolongs the inevitable pain my friend will have to go through, for God's glory and their good. 

At the song's end, that's when you will see which thing is not like the others.