Missing Piece

Whether by distance or death, misunderstandings or personal choice, some family gatherings are missing loved ones.  Past holiday gatherings may have unearthed long buried grievances. So you simply drew the boundary and don't speak to one another.

Being confined in one house with friends and family we don't see eye to eye with may bring out the worst behavior.  So we keep our visits short or not at all.

Distance may have separated you from loved ones that was not your choice.  A new job, school, bad weather preventing you from reaching home or fighting a war on the other side of the world.

And the ultimate separation of death makes the holidays hard to celebrate.  You are in survival mode.  Navigating disappointing, toxic relationships can be exhausting.  Sorry I am starting out on a sour note.

The good news was in a gift I received from one of my children.  A puzzle charm with the words family, truth, joy, kindness, courage, love, loyalty, humor, and hope.  They are so thoughtful in their gifting.



When I think back on some disappointing gatherings and strained relationships, then I hear my adult child's words, "You are the missing piece, Mom".  It blesses me beyond measure and encourages me to think on the positive celebrations from the past...as recent as yesterday.

God bless you as you dwell on the kindness, courage, love, loyalty, humor and hope that surrounds your gatherings.

Surrounded by grace!

Let Jesus's love define your life

Let Jesus's love define your life. 

After jealousy and arrogance reared their ugly heads, God dropped that statement into my soul. It looks quite simple. But it’s not.

Where do I start with let Jesus’s love define your life. I am on the hunt for Jesus’s defining love in scripture.

Sacrifice defines Jesus’s love. "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my (Jesus') sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

When a situation with my friend came about, if I would have sacrificed my own indignant thinking on the altar of sacrificial love, considering them before myself, then jealousy and arrogance would not have developed into a full blown hissy fit (a very spiritual term).

If I would have sacrificed time to go before Jesus, then He would have taken care of it quickly, instead of days spent beating myself up for un-Christ like behavior. 

Humility also defines Jesus’s love. 

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (the Pharisee and the tax collector parable in Luke 18:9-14). 

The Pharisee openly compared himself to the tax collector and came up righteous in that self-serving moment. He was blind to his sin of self righteousness but the tax collector said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” He knew himself to be full of sin before God and with humility threw himself on the mercy of God. Jesus proclaimed the tax collector justified because he humbled himself.  Amazing!

Luke 18: 9 “He (Jesus) told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt.”

When I am jealous and arrogant about that jealousy, then I am not humble, seeking to justify unjustifiable actions. I am a Pharisee. I am not allowing my life to be defined by Jesus’s love. God, be merciful to me, a sinner! And He is. Glory!

Kindness and patience embodies the love of Jesus. Look how he treated children in Matthew 19:14 “…but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.’ “

Who is more open and guileless than a child? Jesus recognized their worth and called them to himself. I watched a child crawl all over my friend. My friend let this little one poke at her face, pull at her earring, jump up in her lap and treat my friend like a jungle gym! She was so patient and kind to this little child. What an example of Jesus in her love!

Picture this! The children rushed to Jesus as they flew from their parents arms into his lap; poking at His face, pulling at His ear, stroking His hair. He laid hands on everyone and prayed for them. Oh to hear the prayers of Jesus for His Kingdom inheritors. I can hear Him say, “You are dearly loved and wanted. I love you best and most. You will be Kings and Queens in my Kingdom. Never forget… I love you!”

That’s what He says to this child after I came to Him, confessing my jealousy and arrogance and asking for mercy. Desperately needed…freely given. Glory be to God!

Finally Unashamed

It's easy to be an anonymous, faceless person typing behind a keyboard about a relationship with Jesus. Some of my friends are unashamedly evangelistic. With ease they share the good news of salvation through God's sent Son, Jesus.  Me?  I limp along feeling very uncomfortable in risking rejection, ridicule and misunderstanding.  I claim 'other' gifts and leave the sharing to others in the body of Christ.  Until recently.

Yesterday prior to our neighborhood's ladies lunch, I deliberately determined not to talk about myself unless asked point blank. (Please tell me I am not alone in this!) As we finished up sharing delicious appetizers then settled in over plates of cookies (my poor thighs), one of our friends asked us to go around and share about ourselves. We had a couple of new ladies in the group this month. My turn came and I shared facts.  Doing okay so far.

Then my friend encouraged me to share about the Bible study that meets in my home AND my writing. Sharing my broken journey connected with some on a deeper level. I could see it in their eyes. Finally unashamed.



Too often, people who attend church, study the Bible and profess to be Christian's are judged as 'holier than thou' and others find it hard to relate to us. With a clarity I don't usually possess, I told all my friends that we are ALL broken and in need of someone bigger than ourselves. We ALL need rescuing. We ALL need a Savior.  The foot of the cross has always been a level field. The manger holds the answers. The empty tomb offers hope for an eternity that our finite brains can not grasp.




Christ-mas is your opportunity to receive God's provision of love and acceptance in the face of His Son Jesus for your broken life. We ALL have one. We ALL need Him.

If you were having coffee with me face-to-face, I would unashamedly share.

Merry Christmas to all as we grow in grace.

Dream a little dream

My dreams are kinda crazy but have meaning.  Some of them do.  When I wake from a dream with residual emotions that stay with me, then I pay close attention.  When they are a sci-fi nightmare, I smile and move on for morning coffee!

Before I woke up, I was in a mall with my husband, John.  Having him in my dream is significant because he usually isn't.  We were away from home in a shopping mall buying food for our dog.  But she was no where around.  I woke up feeling panicked because our dog was somewhere; in a place I didn't know and couldn't find.

What does it all mean?  Usually a dream of panicked loss, means loss of control in my waking life: which is an illusion because I don't have control over anything or anyone except my own actions and impulses.

How about you?  Are you experiencing loss or disappointment in life?  Has someone close to you hurt you or said cruel words that wounded your heart?  Are you angry over an injustice or misunderstanding?  Are you caught up in a nightmare habit that is ruining your life and relationships?

Name it right now, then fall to your knees and cry out to the Lord concerning your loss.  Really, stand up off your chair, turn around and get down on your knees physically.  This posture of humility will do something to your soul-need to control it, figure it out, remain angry and hurt over it.

Luke 18: 7 "And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry out to Him day and night? Will he delay long over them?"  God's delay is His invitation to grow up into the character of Christ He is working in us through loss.  As you cry out, trust Him with the loss of control in your waking life.

And when the giant spiky ping pong ball is rolling down the hill toward you as you slog through marshmallow cream to get away, smile when you wake and move on for morning coffee!

In the grip of His grace and truth!

There’s Room For More

The sadness I feel at my mom saying, ‘I was never a child’ is overwhelming.  The oldest daughter in a large depression era family remembers carrying babies on her hip at a young age.  Five children in five years kept life interesting and busy with work.  A mother’s lap wasn’t something she sat on because mom was ‘always’ pregnant.  Even so, her mother struggled with being affectionate and loving.  Even though my mom has excused her mother’s coldness with the understanding of so many little ones in a few years and all the work that comes with a big family, it left a life-long mark of rejection.

What she said next struck me with joy.  ‘There is always room for more.’  More love, more affection, more affirmation, more encouragement, more snuggles - all the things she doesn’t remember getting as a child because after all…she was ‘never a child’.  It was more a case of her mom ‘never being a loving mom’.

But how can you go back in time?  There are no do-overs.  Just an aching sense of loss that digs deep.  

Today, I see my young women friends with many babies and heavy with the next one on the way, cuddling and loving on their babies.  And it blesses me.  Children are a gift from the Lord.

“If you then who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask.”  Luke 11:13 ESV

And remember the Christmas story that tells us about no room at the inn?  Luke 2:7  "And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn."  

When you make room for Jesus, you will always have the capacity to make room for more!

Keep asking, seeking and knocking!

Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer Movie

An unforgettable, controversial 2004 movie, The Passion of the Christ, was widely viewed.  It was controversial in its R rating of the life and death of Jesus.  The Passion earned director Mel Gibson kudos and death threats.  I still remember averting my face during the bloody, lengthy scourging scene.  I left the theater with a deep sense of gratitude to my Lord Jesus for what He went through to secure my salvation and future destination after I leave this earth. The Passion movie was a wake-up call to the Christian community in their evangelical outreach to non-Christians.

A couple of days ago, we watched a true-life story unfold on the screen - Gosnell: The Trial of America’s Biggest Serial Killer rated PG-13. Visceral and shocking were a few of my reactions to this movie.

The synopsis from the movie website:

“The film is the shocking true story of the investigation and trial of Dr. Kermit Gosnell - his 30 year killing spree and the political and media establishment that tried to cover it up. Originally investigated for illegal prescription drug sales, a raid by DEA, FBI & local law enforcement revealed crimes they could not have expected within the clinic.

Based on the NY Times Bestseller — Gosnell: The Untold Story of America’s Most Prolific Serial Killer.”

What is omitted from the synopsis is that Dr. Gosnell ran an abortion clinic in the poorer sections of Philadelphia.  His victims were late term, live birth babies that he killed. He was found guilty of murdering babies and convicted to a life sentence.  He avoided the death penalty by not appealing his verdict.

The film exhibited solid acting and was horrifically engaging as the story unfolds. I had to keep reminding myself that this was not fictional drama but a TRUE story.  I witnessed high level evil and downright wickedness along with faith, compassion and tenacity to end Gosnell’s evil.  

The movie ended in silence with sounds of soft crying.  One gentleman viewer down the row from us stood, faced the small crowd and prayed.  This appropriate action touched me as much as the movie.  Other’s offered information on 40 Days for Life https://40daysforlife.com  

What am I left with now?  Removing my head from the sand of social and political ignorance and indifference.  Where was I in 1973 when Roe vs Wade was passed, abortion legalized?  I was having my first child.  Where was I in 2009 as that monster’s abortion clinic was uncovered and a book was written?  Living my life.

As The Passion renewed an emphasis on sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, the movie Gosnell should shock Christians out of any complacency over the Pro-Life movement.  As difficult as it was to sit through this movie, I am grateful to the people who wrote the book and made the movie. I will not soon forget. 

Click on this link for movie information and go see this film. http://www.gosnellmovie.com  

The Five H’s of Relationships

Have you heard of the five W’s of story telling? Who, What, When, Where and How? Okay, so it’s four W’s and an H. In relationship with God and others, consider the following five H’s; hopeful, helpful, happening, healthy and holy.

Hopeful vs hopeless

Hopelessness is a two sided coin; either loss of motivation or taking control. A downward spiral of hopelessness leads to inaction and negativity. We can become increasingly subject to a victim mentality. My friend has endured tragedy and loss, yet I have not seen her fall into hopelessness.  Month by month, she has taken her loss and pain to God and received hope. His promises to her will not fail because God is loving, through and through. 

The other side of the hopeless coin is to take control to make something happen in our own power. Because hopelessness is marked by distrust of God’s sovereign love, we take control. When there are no positive changes in a relationship through years of ups and downs, I lose hope, then try to lower my expectations and finally give into hopelessness. Then I remember God’s faithfulness, and refocus my attention on Him instead of the hopeless circumstances. This scripture says it all for me. “…and hope does not put us(me) to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our(my) hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us(me).” Romans 5:5 ESV (italics mine). God doesn’t give us measured drips and drops of love but it pours out like a deluge on a cracked, dry ground. Don’t give up hope or give up on God’s love for you and the people you love. Aside: try taking a scripture that is meaningful to you and personalize it.

Helpful vs helpless

It’s difficult for me to ask others for help. Like most people, I would rather be the helper than the helpee. When I suffered from acute back pain, it was difficult to complete simple household tasks. On a morning when I was feeling depressively helpless and in pain, a friend called ‘out of the blue’ and offered to help. By the way, it was the same friend that had experienced loss and remained hopeful.  Instead of being stubborn and refusing her help, I accepted. What a blessing she was as she served God and helped me with housework!

As Paul is wrapping up his constitutional theology of the Christian faith in his letter to the Roman church, he sends greetings to many beloved friends along with instructions for the Roman church.  “…welcome her (Phoebe) in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a patron of many and of myself as well.” Romans 16:2 ESV (italics mine). The helper became the recipient of help. 

As much as I am indebted to those that have helped me through the years, my Helper is the Holy Spirit. One of his Greek names is Paraclete; One who comes alongside you to help, comfort, teach, guide and lead. In John 14:16 Jesus prays, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,…”. Also, John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”   The Holy Spirit is our powerful helper in times of helplessness.

Happening vs happenstance

I looked up the old fashioned word happenstance, a late 19th century pairing of happen + circumstance. It is synonymous with coincidence; something that happens by chance, fate or luck. “…what has happened to me (Paul) has really served to advance the gospel.” Phillippians 1:12 ESV (italics mine)

God’s happening has divine purpose and direction. What happens to us, both good and bad, is not random and thoughtless. There is a plan and purpose to our lives directed by the Lord. If you have received the Sinless Son of God in your heart and believe He died and came back to full life for the forgiveness of your sin, then be assured that God has a happening plan for you. Take courage and fulfill the happenings that He orchestrates in your life. 

Healthy vs Unhealthy

Considering our mental and emotional health is multifaceted and can never be separated from the physical and spiritual dimensions of who we are. It’s a package deal.  Thousands of books and articles have been written on possessing good mental/emotional health. Good mental health begins with a secure identity; who you are, not what you do. We get it backwards by looking at what we do and how much we have to establish our identity.

Our identity, who we belong to, establishes what we do and have. The Bible phrase ‘in Christ’ is critical to our identity. Romans is full of ‘in Christ’ scriptures revealing our identity in Christ. 3:24 (redeemed), 6:11 (spiritually alive), 6:23 (eternal life), 8:1 (no condemnation), 8:2 (free), 8:39 (inseparable from God), 9:1 (true), 16:3 (fellow workers), 16:10 (approved) And that is simply a start to discovering your identity in Christ leading to solid mental/emotional health.

Holy vs Unholy

Qa-dosh or kadosh is someone or something that has, or has been given the quality of specialness, and has been separated from the rest for a special purpose. Strong's Hebrew #: h.6918.

Set apart by God for His purposes reveals the unique quality of holiness. Purity, special, without blemish, unblameable, beloved, harmless, undefiled, and separate are some of the companion adjectives for holy. Don’t make the mistake of thinking of holiness and piety, an outward form of godliness or religion, as the same. Holiness is an attitude of belonging to God in every aspect of our life, not only on Sunday morning for an hour of worship.

In marriage, we set ourselves apart for our spouses and no other. It is an exclusive relationship. My spouse and I often say to each other, “I’m for you.” In that statement is a promise to remain exclusive to my spouse, set apart for them; holy in body, mind, soul and spirit. Is it possible? Yes, by the grace of God. Only by His grace; He does something for me that I cannot do for myself. 

When you think on the five H’s of relationships, remember this; you may be fully for another person and fully for God. As much as you are for God, He is ultimately and completely for you before you were conceived. Psalm 139:16 is only one of many verses that speak of God’s care for you before you were born. “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” ESV

He. Is. FOR. You.  Believe it!

In God’s matchless grace for hopeful, helpful, happening, healthy and holy relationships,

Nancy

Seeking Out the Truth

I love mysteries; particularly ones set in the 19th Century England.  Staying one step ahead of the author's story is challenging.  Sometimes I figure it out but most times I am riveted as the clues are dropped like Hansel and Gretel crumbs and the mystery unfolds.

I left you with this question in my Oct 8th blog.  How do I form a godly worldview as opposed to being tossed about by man's doctrines and Satan's deceptions? (and my own gullibility)
Simply yet profoundly; the Word of God...the Bible.  His story and ours unfolds like a mystery.  The clues are many and the crumbs become full on sumptuous meals for our souls!

" Great are the works of the Lord, studied by all who delight in them." Psalm 111:2 ESV
Studied means to seek out.  Sometimes I read the Bible just to be washed by the Word - Ephesians 5:26.  Seeking out involves more of my commitment and deliberate attention.  I put away media, background music, distractions in my house and study alone.  As a 'person of the book', I do two critical things. I delight in my God and seek out the works of the Lord.

There is no other God who wants us to be in relationship with Him.  There is no other God, the Lord Most High, that paid the ultimate price in the life, death and life-again man Jesus, God most beloved Son.  If I had given my son for you even when you didn't know me and even hated me, then I would want you to be delighted in my works and seek them out...to seek out Jesus.

Studying God's works is not the same as studying the Bible to get answers or as fuel for an argument.  James MacDonald says the wrong question in seeking God is why. "We don't have to know every 'why' when we know the 'Who' that knows them all."  Think about this with me for a minute.

Tragedy, heartache, loss strikes us all in a moment.  It's logical and human to ask 'why'?  To move us forward day by day, as we navigate the effects of loss, is to move us away from the unanswerable 'whys?' into seeking out the works of God.  They show His multifaceted character; love, faithfulness, kindness, justice, gentleness, forgiveness...and down the road, a return to joy.  And then you will discover the mystery of the WHYS in the Lord God, His son Jesus and the Holy Spirit teacher/comforter.

I don't know what you are going through at this moment.  You may be in the middle of the struggle of your life and for your life.  The Bible holds the answers because it reveals the character of God through the works of God we seek after.  As you read, ask Him to give you a mind and heart that goes beyond why and to WHO.  He is the ultimate mystery.

God's grace abound to you today!

#2 Ruminations on a song: Karma Chameleon

Karma Chameleon by Culture Club
I'm a man without conviction
I'm a man who doesn't know
How to sale a contradiction?
You come and go, you come and go

TWO disclaimers before I write about this chorus from the 80's.  I am so sorry this song is stuck in your head but deal with it.  In the 80s, my music was intentionally Christian artists; i.e., Sandi Patti, Amy Grant, Twila Paris, Michael Card, Michael W. Smith, to name a few top 20 Christian recording artists.  And of course, Hillsong Music with Darlene Zschech.

THIS song floated through my mind recently as I fight the ongoing battle against my compliant nature that constantly wants to make peace and look good before my friends and family.
                   chameleon
                         people pleaser
                                wishy-washy
                                       naive
                                           door mat
                                                 nice lady (this one I hate being called the most because if you only knew!)
                                                       uninformed
                                                            apathetic
                                                                  stupid
Many of the names above I've called myself or been labeled with.  Many of them are excuses to avoid conflict and come out looking good. The following scriptures are how I fight my battle.  I pray they are useful to all my peacemaking, compliant twins. (italics mine with NASB version)
               
                  Who am I pleasing?
-Romans 8:8 "Those who are in the flesh cannot please God."          
-Galatians 1:10 "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."        
-Colossians 1:10. "...so as to walk in manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him..."

                 Who has my heart?
-1 Thessalonians 2:4 "...but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts."
                 Faith or unbelief; Do I really believe God says?
-Hebrews 11:6 " and without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."
                  Conviction! over idolatry
James 4:4 "You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?"  OUCH

I'm going to leave you with this question, How do I form a godly worldview as opposed to being tossed about by man's doctrines and lies?  (Hint: the Word of God) That sounds like another blog post.

God's unbounded grace to you!

Gypsy Reflection #2

We're home!  That statement brings with it the sure knowledge that we are no where near full time RVing!  Boy howdy was it good to get home.  Over the miles and hours on the road we talked about our take aways from the rally.
Me: Did I tell you I fell in love with our "next" rig, honey?
Him: Me too. But I sure liked the toy haulers.
Me: We don't have any toys, hun.
Him: But the storage is a plus.
Me: The living space shrinks in a toy hauler.
Him: But we have stuff to haul.
            And so it goes.
Me: I love traveling the country to see different places.
Him: Me too.
Me: My back and butt is numb (after 6 hours on the road)
Him: What butt?
           Owweee
Him: What did you think of the SOWERS information?
Me: Servants On Wheels Ever Ready?
Him: I could see us doing that in retirement.
Me: Agreed, traveling to a destination for a month of serving through a Christian non-profit would be fulfilling and help out other service organizations.
           Meaningful
Him: But what about that toy hauler?
Me: (face palm)

I love my man...have for 48 years.  We travel companionably together and laugh often at stupid things.  That's the joy of a long marriage.

On a different note... A man asked an interesting question at one of our rally dinners.  "Why did most of the RV manufacturers come to northern Indiana to establish their businesses?"  I think the percentage of units shipped across the country from Indiana is high, like 80-85%.  The answer is the Amish and Mennonite communities that have settled in this area.  I was reading in Genesis 18: 17-19 God retelling Abraham this, "...all the nations of the world are going to find themselves blessed through him (Abraham)."  When a God-honoring people are present with their integrity, honesty and exemplary work ethic, they influence the area.  Their craftsmanship is evident as you walk in their furniture stores or bite into a fry or moon pie.
They are an example to all Christians that faith is a walk, not just talk, a culture changer.  As tourists we were warned that businesses closed on Sunday in the area; not only Amish businesses but the whole area shut down.  That speaks louder than words to any culture that seeks to influence.

I digress and need to move my day along with "walk, not talk/write".  BTW - the title is a play on words because we own a Grand Design Reflection 303RLS.

Let me know what you think of my rambling.
Nancy

Arriving in IN - so hot!

Jade Corgi laying in the 90 degree sun (not for long!)

Goofing off in St Joseph, MI

An unexpected hitchhiker - Tomato Horned-worm

What I do on the road - crochet

Gypsy Reflection #1

TRAVELING in our Grand Design RV for longer than a weekend feels like what I would imagine the gypsy life to be.  A four day RV rally for Grand Design owners in northern Indiana is over.  We experienced and learned more about the RV life through the informational seminars, over delicious meals for 800 people (yes, 375 RV units attended this national rally) and getting to know strangers from across the country.  From Alaska to California, including our Canadian RVers, they came.  And the cool thing about RVers is you don't feel like strangers for long.

John and I are working on our 3-5 year plan until he retires.  That plan might include full-time RVing.  The two questions I asked full-timers are, 'What do you like about full-timing?'  'What don't you like?' is the second question.  Common answers among the women were, "I miss my family."  But they arranged their travel to visit family across the country.  Some liked the adventure of not knowing where they would be in 2 weeks and some planned every detail of their travels.  They also recounted their rig breakdowns, repairs in distant places and the call home for unexpected tragedy.  Several talked about the tax benefit, although full-timing is not cheap!  And the initial investment in a rig to comfortably travel the country can be steep.  Best advise we gave born out of our experience is to buy your truck size thinking ahead to future heavier rigs.  We already have our next RV picked out for full-time RVing, and our 1 ton dually diesel will accommodate the new one.

Several couples bought camping and RV club memberships that provide free camping at member parks and other amenities on the road.  There are several different clubs to choose from; Passport and Coast-to-Coast are a couple we heard about.  KOAs were the route many took and were very happy with the facilities across the country.

Between a factory tour, where we were greeted with a literal red carpet and the employees cheering us as we stepped off the bus, and a bus trip to St Joseph, MI we kept busy the entire 4 days.  There was plenty of acreage to walk our fur buddy, Jade.  Time to get her out for a poop walk then maybe a bike ride.  Thanks for reading.  And happy, safe travels this Labor Day weekend.

Free swag from Grand Design

Parked in Elkhardt County 4H Fairgrounds, Goshen, IN with an approaching storm