Tech Envy

 After forty-three years of marital bliss, my dear hubby’s (DH) love affair makes no sense. She gives him accurate information in a silky-voiced response to his questions. I’ve developed an intense dislike of her intrusion into our lives. I know her. Her name is Siri.

He plugs in his phone, and she confirms with a sultry, “Charging.”

He tells her, “Good morning,” and she complies by turning on specific lights. Grudgingly, I find this feature helpful when my hands are full coming into a dark apartment.

I say, “Hey, Siri. Goodnight.” The lights turn off. 

She cleverly sucks me in by conveniently playing my favorite Celtic music. But we’ll never be friends.

DH asks her for the current dew point, and she responds coyly, “I found this information for you on the web.” I feel strangely mollified by Siri’s indirect answer while DH is frustrated with her indirect information.

 I remember the day I confronted him about his blooming dependence on Siri. My tears flowed upon the realization that Siri is in his life, never to vanish. She has the upper hand–uh, wire.

Tech gadgetry increases when DH is bored. It’s not only Siri. DH delights in investing in new tech to scare the peewadden out of me. 

I dropped him off at our home building site yesterday to wait for our front door delivery.  He takes a book because internet connections are limited in the boonies. A couple of hours without his precious Siri is good for him while I drive back into town for groceries. 

Pulling the car into our garage, I unload groceries. Before I open the door to the apartment, someone faintly calls my name. The voice is eerie and soft. I furrow my brow and ignore the voice, thinking it might be my cell phone in the car. But I didn’t hear it ring. 

After I unload groceries and walk back into the garage, again, I hear someone softly call my name. I can not find the source. It sounds like DH, but his voice sounds faint and eerie. Was he communicating from the great beyond? Did he fall at the property and need help?

“Camera. Look at the camera”, he says softly. 

Of course! When we moved in, he mounted a camera in the garage. Later in the day, I discovered he tested the remote ability to talk through the camera. We had a long ‘discussion’ about his glee over scaring me half to death. There is never a dull moment in our lives together. 

But paybacks are sweet when DH hears my Siri's voice, a husky Aussie who I named Wallaby. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.